Norway (Ida)
Since the beginning of time Norway have always sent deadly dull ballads or a faded copy of earlier winners to the Eurovision. Why, why, oh why can we never send something fun???? But when I saw this performance from Norway's Melodi Grand Prix my heart literally skipped at least one beat, and not only because I was a little drunk..
FINALLY!!! I thought.. Norway has understood what the Eurovision is about: a catchy tune and a fabulous show. Never mind the lyrics. (Im sure the space dog Laika missed more than disco up there...) Half of Europe don't understand them anyway...probably....
This song is a shameless flirtation with eastern Europe generally, and Russia specifically. Although there is a slight chance the Russians might take offence with a stage packed full of middle aged lesbians singing about their girlfriend in the streets of Moscow, I'm 99% sure The Hungry Hearts and Lisa Dillan would have KILLED it in Stockholm in May!!!! Too bad we'll never know...
The dear old UK (Matt)
And then there's the usual annual Eurovision bilge that the UK insist on serving up year on year. And this year, well, I mean, Thingy & Steve? We can't really complain, though, can we? The 6 songs offered up for ritual humiliation were simply a dead-eyed reflection on the current state of the UK pop charts.
So it's no wonder we sending two shiny-faced Pop Factor Idols to Stockholm to loiter around the back end of the scoreboard on 14 May, while the rest of Europe gets on with throwing the looniest party this side of the Eurasian continent.
Right here, in its rarified glory, Eurovision serves up a microcosm of the UKs relationship with Europe: a little sneering, not to be taken too seriously, let's have a laugh at the funny foreigners while we get on with ruling the waves.
Erm...I digress. Because it's my democratic duty, I of course voted in the UK heats, and below is the song that probably should have won. Dear me.
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